Professional Development

Hi again future neighbours.

I'm a bit pushed today, we've had a big influx, the biggest I can remember this century.  You can thank The Iraq war, the Afghanistan war, the floods in India and Pakistan and the onwards march of human fecundity.
Think about it.
Every year there are more and more humans on the earth, therefore more and more die each day.  And I always get My share. Simple Logic.

Anyway, the next room on the tour is one I'm really proud of.  No sign of blood, guts or brimstone.  The inhabitants have comfortable seats and plenty of coffee.  The surroundings are stimulating, with good lighting and temperature.  It's designed to keep you awake.

This is the Professional Development room.
Its for the few teachers we get down here.  As I mentioned earlier, most go to Her upstairs, as they've really been through their own Hell during their teaching lives, but as with all professions, we get a steady trickle of the incorrigible ones.
The teachers who pick favourites in class.
The teachers who preach racist and nationalistic themes.
The teachers who really love their kids.
The teachers who falsify pass rates to suit their preconceptions
The teachers who put down a kid, even if their doing their best.
The teachers who don't care anymore (if they ever did)

Believe it or not, there's not that many.
However, back to the PD room

It's full, the teachers cannot leave.
They're all drinking coffee.
Their bladders are full and getting fuller.(useful aid this, I use it a lot)
A large screen is behind a low stage.
The Educationalist walks out and begins to spout.
The inevitable PowerPoint presentation begins to flicker it's way through the badly designed and over-filled slides.

It goes on.
The drone begins to dig into the brains.
"Pedagogical research indicates"
"Multiple research conclusions show"
"This area is especially interesting"
"This graph shows"
"The text plainly states"
"The Ministry now expects at least 4 hours more"
"A new statistical analysis tool is available"
"A new assessment tool is available, and will be implemented"
"You've all been making mistakes for the last 20 years"

I don't want to go on, but they do. 
A continuous stream of Educationalists, Consultants, Educational Psychologists, Lecturers and Professors of Education, Advisers to the Ministry arrive on the platform and begin to spout.  All with their own PowerPoints.

It goes on and on.  Many contradict themselves, the listening teacher's minds are slowly turning to mush, and the first moans start to drift up.

Their bladders are getting fuller, but they cannot leave, they're literally glued to their seats, and anyway they cannot pee.  I've seen to that with some little body image modification.  They're all dead, remember? Everything is mind tricks.

The final touch. 
After the 100th speaker has finished, everyone is directed into group work.  They now have to discuss and show enthusiasm for all of the crap they've just been listening to. They get electric shocks if they don't contribute.  I really get My laughs out of this, seeing them desperately trying to think of something, anything, from all the crap they've been exposed to expound about, some logical structure from where they can develop some vestige of a useful idea.
After 50 years, I simply start the cycle again.
There is no escape.

Have a nice day now, y'hear?