The Popes

Hi again future clients,
keeping well?

Hmm pity.

The next section to see is one of the smallest.  The smallest is the special Hell I've made for Adolf, he's over there in the Ghetto.  I'm not going to describe Adolf's little corner, it's just too awful, and I've just eaten.
Now where was I?

The Sistine Chapel

Ah yes, the Popes.
Too be fair, some of them aren't here, they're with Her upstairs, but that's just four of them.  The rest are over there, in that copy of the Sistine chapel.  Most of these gentlemen are down here with me, because of office politics.  They knew what the right thing to do was, the choice which would have been to the benefit of their members, but instead they took another choice.
There's a long list from these boyos
Contraception (The Pill)
Stem cell research
Abortion
Contraception again (Condoms)

Contraception yet again (The Rhythm method)  These guys are really obsessed with sex.
Gay priests
Gay priests buggering little boys under their care (I've got a really special section down here for these bastards, staffed by my most inventive demons, but under the supervision of Torqameda, Ghenghis Khan, Eichmann and de Sade.  Pol Pot is occasionally used as a consultant.
Celibacy (Surely the most stupid idea ever to come out of any organisation, even the UN)
Hypocrisy
Simony
Murder (good example form the "Head of the Church", but there were a lot in the 14th and 15th centuries)
The list goes on and on.

Inside the chapel , the art is as good as the original.  Well it should be, I've got Michelangelo down here.  (Most artists and musicians end up with me. The poor sods have so much creative energy pent-up that they do the most appalling things just to get some relief)
But the art is changed, it's much more lascivious.  The popes are all chained into comfortable thrones, their hands secured.
A constant flow of naked and semi-naked men and women pass by, doing the most erotic things to each other, but the Popes cannot touch, they cannot speak, they cannot move.  Think of the frustration which builds up, especially as this goes on for ever (literally)
It just gives them a taste for the frustration many of their flock felt when the stupidity, venality and corruption of the Church was made public.

These guys did a better job of driving millions down to me than anyone else.

Well done.

Suffer for all eternity, you know it makes sense.

Next time, the musicians.

Have a nice day

The Religious

Welcome back.
Glad to see you again.
Sorry about the delay it's been Hell down here. (If you don't smile, you'll regret it later.  I mean it.  Ah, much better)

As I was saying, it's been Hell down here, and we're all overworked.  I'll really have to get more staff, but training them takes simply ages.  I've got to teach them the basics of inflicting suffering and anguish, they have absolutely no idea.  I blame the teachers.
However, back to our guided tour of my little domain.
As I've mentioned before, we try and give each of our clients a personalized experience, their environment and the methods used are tailored to suit their own prejudices, beliefs and tasks in life.

Frankly the religious aren't much of a challenge.
Their little minds are set on a fixed track, and they are not used to actually thinking for themselves.
All I've got to do is seal each one up in a small isolated beige room, with nothing to do, nothing to see and only gentle background muzak of an ethereal nature playing.
Then I just leave them for about 200 years. 
Most of them think that they're in with Her Upstairs (Yeah, right), and that they are obviously the only virtuous one to make it.  These are the ones who I really tease.  I just flash the walls of their little room into transparent mode for about a 10th of a second, so they catch the merest fleeting glimpse of the flames and shrieking damned  which surround them.  Just long enough for the merest impression to have been made.  Just long enough for the faintest of cracks to be created in their smug little personalities.  The first slight, faint doubt appears on their mental horizon.

I just leave them to it for a few tens of thousands of years.
It's lovely the way they crumple as they find that faith is an insufficient crutch.

The first screams of anguish are muzac to my ears.

Ah well, back to work. 
I'm preparing a professional development course for My second level demons, and I've got some fine-tuning to do to the boredom/anguish ratio to achieve the maximum mind-deadening effect.

See you soon.